Lincoln High School

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The most phallic campus on the planet
Only da finest public school I ever almost graduated from, hey.

Sittin' on prime, lakefront, hilltop property just upwind o' da poop processing plant, da school remains a fence-free open campus. It pretty much has'ta, 'cause lockin' people up against their will in a buildin' named after Abraham Lincoln would seem pretty hippie critical.

Dey don't let'cha sneek beer in no more, so most kids gotta go out t'their car an' maybe drive over to da Crick to get drunk, den haul ass back t'get to class on time. It's for dere own safety.

Oh, an' dere's a big bowl out front dat ev'body graduates in. I used t'do lotsa little bowls out back. Prob'ly why I din't graduate in da big bowl out front. Hope you kids learnt a lesson from me, hey.

Readin' back on it, I'm t'inkin' maybe you learnt a couple lessons from me.

Oh crud. Dat ain't good...

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(G'head and add yer own stuff about LHS here, hey!)